


if you love me, let it die

by Aanya_Inure



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Trigger Warnings, Violence, i kinda made the future foundation badass in here..., like they all have weapons and stuff, major komaeda/naegi brotp, mentions suicidal thoughts, minor naegi/kirigiri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 03:58:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4592067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aanya_Inure/pseuds/Aanya_Inure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Many months after the official end to Enoshima/Monokuma’s rein, Hinata and the other survivors of despair are on a journey of recovery, set on saving their friends and slowly freeing them of despair’s influence.</p><p>Meanwhile, Naegi, Komaeda, and the rest of the Future Foundation are traveling about saving survivors, providing them with means to live, as well as killing off the remains of Monobots still about. </p><p>But when it’s time for another shipment to be sent to the Island, the two ex-Despair students who had been separated from the others for special recovery are to be reunited with their classmates.</p><p>This is a story of the students' aftermath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. bring you back to life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter to a multi-chap post SDR2 series I’ve been trying to do. I will be updating as best as I can, as well as try and see this through. The title is taken from the song Let It Die by Starset and each chapter title will be based off it as well. This will contain triggering themes, some violence, and romance. The italicized piece at the end of each chapter will be a flashback, or a scene that has already taken place.
> 
> I am setting this somewhere around 8 months after the end of SDR2.
> 
> Fair warning, Archive for some reason is not correcting my italics no matter how many times I edit it xP I'll try and fix again but for now, just bear with me.

His soles clap against the corridor ground. Feet fast, thoughts fleeting; he bursts through the door and is swarmed by the sound of screaming.

A common occurrence in these halls

“Here!”

Hinata passes the towel and water to one of the nameless nurses sent by the Future Foundation. She nods her pointed chin in thanks and immediately turns back to the body that lies before her, thrashing and screaming. The patient fights the restraints till their ankles and wrists have bruised.

He clenches his eyes and looks away. This never gets easier.

Koizumi, once vibrant and bright, now snarls like an animal trapped in a cage. Junko’s influence swirls her eyes like green typhoons, her eyebrows are sewn with threads and her red hair is cropped to just some inches, with long blonde strands stitched in her skull.

Another angry cry, until all falls silent with the prod of a needle.

Slowly, Hinata opens his eyes and looks. Involuntarily, he cringes as his friend slips back to sleep with her teeth still bared and nails still bitten into white sheets.

“Thank you for your help. I believe I can handle the rest,” the nurse speaks soft yet professional. She dabs the wet cloth to Koizumi’s forehead. “Your friends have headed for lunch, why don’t you go join them?”

He doesn’t speak. He simply nods and runs as fast as he can from the hospital suffocation.

 _It’s still so hard to watch_ , he thinks, hands still trembling as he stops at his cottage for a change of clothes.

_We still have Nidai, Teruteru, and Saoinji who haven’t even shown signs of waking up from their coma. Tanaka’s half way cured, but the progress is slow. And Peko and Koizumi…_

Hinata bites his lip cherry red. Every one of them have gone through it. They wake up in despair, each broken. Some are violent, others are eerily still and silent; awake but too far gone to be aware.

He thinks of Kuzuryuu, seen the desperation as he coaxes food to Peko’s tongue and water to her throat. Tries to get her to speak, to stop staring straight ahead, to do something but remain still like a child’s toy without strings.

Ibuki had been a similar case. Only after several weeks was she cajoled from her statue-like spell and began a recovery. He hopes the same for the swords-woman.

And then there are others like Koizumi.

His chest hurts at the memory

Throwing his shirt to the ground and slipping into another, he pushes the thoughts away and jogs out the door.

 _I can’t keep thinking things like that_. Hajime grunts his own agreement, taking two steps at a time at the stairs.

_We’ve already come so far as it is. Sometimes I just forget to be grateful to still even be here. It’s hard to appreciate things with all that’s been going on._

The moment he enters the dining area, a sort of relief swells in him.

Seeing his other friends awake and well comes with a pleasant ease, especially after such a day. He makes quick of grabbing his preferred foods before sitting down with them.

“Hinata-kun! I’m glad you could join us.” Sonia, still ever so sweet, smiles at him kindly. Through thick and thin the Princess has remained strong and caring. 

She is not without wear of course; her neat hair is not as well placed, there are two scars now stark white on her fair skin, diagonal and parallel across her right arm. A symbol of her waking. The reminder is unwelcome, the memory unpleasant for them all.

She had been so desperate to get Enoshima’s blood out of her own…

Shaking his head, Hinata forbids the train of thought and returns the smile, albeit a weary one. “Me too. Things were under control so one of the nurses said I could come eat.”

Just as he tries for a bite, a notepad is shoved into his face.

**“Ibuki’s glad to see Hinata too! Though Hinata looks a bit tired. Can’t hide from Ibuki! She can tell!”**

Putting down his fork, he can’t help but sigh in fond exasperation. The musician has regained her full enthusiasm after a long and arduous time in therapy, and though she still has lapses, her recovery was one of the most successful of all the coma-kept students.

Her voice may never return, but her exuberance is bouncing back well. For that he’s grateful.

Hinata doesn’t bother lying. “Yeah, I’m pretty wiped out. Didn’t sleep well last night.”

The why goes without saying. They all can relate to restless nights.

Instead, Sonia simply passes a napkin to Akane, who gives a muffled thanks through the deli she’s stuffed in her mouth. The Gymnast still loves food, that was never going to change. He hopes it will aid in filling her body out to it’s muscle again; her cheeks sunken and arms limp. The physical therapy has helped some but not yet fully; almost. She trains everyday though, and she’ll reach her potential soon.

It’s then that Hinata notices a short stature Yakuza walking by with two plates.

His eyes soften. “Hey, Kuzuryuu. Spending lunch with Peko again?”

The blonde stops and gives a trying quirk of lips. By now, the healthy pink flush to his cheeks has returned, and the swelling from his surgery has disappeared. ,i>(I’d rather have no eye, than her eye, he’d said)

His friend speaks quietly. “Yeah. I’m hoping I can get her to respond today.”

The quiet confession is the same as yesterdays, and the day before, and every day before that too. Hajime lifts his lips in what he hopes is a reassuring smile.

“Tell her hi for me, yeah?”

A small light shines in Kuzuryuu’s eye as a silent thanks. Balancing his two plates, he uses his back to push open the door. A quick, “will do,” and he’s gone.

The exchange has loosened the knot in his chest, which had been tightly coiled since the event with Koizumi. Without such iron weight in his ribs, he finds his food to look a bit more appetizing. Perhaps a nap after lunch would do him some good as well.

_Let’s see…_

Me, Souda, Sonia, Kuzuryuu, Akane, Ibuki, Koizumi, Peko, and Tanaka. Nine of us are awake. Just a bit over half. More than the Future Foundation ever thought would.

Biting into a particular juicy watermelon slice, he slurps as it tries to dribble down his chin. _That leaves Hiyoko, Nidai, Teruteru and…_

His watermelon slips through his fingers and slaps onto his plate, a white seed stuck to his chin.

Hinata doesn’t notice. Hit like a brick, he stills all together.

>…Mikan and…Komaeda.

The names fill his head like a symphony. The two that were not on this island with them. Mikan and Komaeda.

His peaceful state of mind officially shattered, Hajime’s thoughts whirl.

_Are they…have they woke up? Did they survive?_

Mikan…her twisted love for Enoshima…what have they done with her?

And Komaeda…

He swallows hard.

_Is Komaeda even…alive?_

___

_“Every month, we’ll send a shipment of supplies that will cover every basis. Food, tools, medicine, ectetera; basically you have all that you need already on the island, we’ll just make sure it’s always replenished.”_

Hinata only just registers what Naegi is saying, with his heart in his ears and his pulse at his chest, he finds he can hardly believe what’s going on around him. He stands among the survivors, near the edge of the island where the large blimp has taken to loom over them, listening as the Future Foundation main members prattle on about what happens from here.

So far, it seems they will give them the necessities to live, and will protect the Despair students from getting obliterated. It’s amazing they are even getting that much, he knows. Yet he has two other subjects pressing at his mind.

One, is the knowledge that he will live and die on this island. He is not allowed to leave ever again due to the wariness all have of the talented other installed and locked in his mind. They will take no risk of him coming out again. And so Hinata is isolated to the island.

He doesn’t know how to take this news.

The second matter has nothing to do with his survival, and is more about his nagging need for an answer as to-

“What about our friends? They’re still in comas, but they’ll wake up right?”

Sonia is the one who speaks the question they all have been eager to ask; truthfully, they fear as much as they anticipate the answer.

Naegi’s speech halts at the inquiry, but the shorter boy has a steady and comforting expression. “There is nothing for certain about the students still unconscious. But we will be having hospital staff here to do as much as they can to help them. The rest is up to themselves and all of you.”

The impending outcome has them all high strung. So they’ll just have to hope, huh? Hope they’ll all-

“Except…” the lucky student continues, “Mikan Tsumiki and Nagito Komaeda.”

Atmosphere shifting, Hinata blinks.

What?

“We’ll be loading their pods onto the ship and taking them with us back to the Future Foundation.”

“What?!” Souda scratches at his beanie. “Why?”

Kirigiri steps forward, a monochrome and cool politeness to her aura. “It is unfortunate, but it is due to Mikan Tsumiki’s past distorted relation to Enoshima that we feel the need to monitor her more carefully.”

The detective reads a paper she holds neatly in her gloved hand. “As for Nagito Komaeda, he will not survive without more advanced care, and we are more equipped back at headquarters. His diagnosis of Lymphoma and Frontotemporal Dementia give him the most unlikely chance to survive. This is due to the damage already done before the simulation, the chances of his body being strong enough to recover is little to none.”

Folding the paper, she slips it gracefully in her pocket before giving them a small bow. “We are sorry for this misfortune, but I fear it is the reality of the situation.”

“Wait…what?!” The mechanic squawks.

Sonia’s hand has come to her mouth, a horrified gasp; “That’s terrible!” followed by a noise of disbelief from Akane.

Kuzuryuu too looks bewildered, hands fisted in his pockets. “Dementia? Lymphoma? Since when…?” He turns, “Hajime, you heard anything about this?”

“…”

“Huh? Hajime, dude. The hell’s wrong with you?”

Hinata hears nothing. His ears are ringing and his mouth has gone and made the Sahara Desert look like wetlands. Had he heard that right? Had he truly…?

“Oh my god.”

Something inside him chokes. “He lied?! About lying?!”


	2. to make you whole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many months after the official end to Enoshima/Monokuma’s rein, Hinata and the other survivors of despair are on a journey of recovery, set on saving their friends and slowly freeing them of despair’s influence.
> 
> Meanwhile, Naegi, Komaeda, and the rest of the Future Foundation are traveling about saving survivors, providing them with means to live, as well as killing off the remains of Monobots still about.
> 
> But when it’s time for another shipment to be sent to the Island, the two ex-Despair students who had been separated from the others for special recovery are to be reunited with their classmates.
> 
> This is a story of the student’s aftermath.

Soot billows beneath his steps; storm eyes observing the leftovers of chaos. The debris of a once thriving city stretches before him in tipped over towers and vacant homes. Webs woven in corners and dust layered like sin, Komaeda takes a heavy breath through his mask, feeling metallic air coat his tongue.

“It never gets easier to see, does it?”

The muffled words reach his friend nearby.

“No. Sometimes, I think it gets harder.”

Curious, green-tinted globes turn to the other.

His silent question receives a sad sigh. “It’s still hard to see so much ruin. After all of our efforts, it sometimes feels as though we’ve only managed to recover so little.” Skin pulls taut over knuckle bone. “I won’t stop fighting to make things better, but I just hope we’re doing enough.”

Gravel skits by the soles of the their shoes, silence between the soft press of footsteps. Komaeda stops close, face soft in fondness. A pale hand tips a small chin to the right.

A whisper of laughter; “Naegi-kun, you should give yourself more credit. Look.”

His words guide their gaze where the violet eyed beauty crouches, smiling to a chubby-cheek boy as he takes the offered food before ducking behind the shield of his mothers thigh. Little fingers wiggle back shyly when the small family receives their portion and leaves.

Farther from the rubble of the torn town, three men cower under orders from the tall blonde; their movements in hurry, proving fruition when the spigot turns and clean water comes forth.

From the poorly clothed and sunken-skin survivors, enlightened cheers arise in gladness. Relief in age-witness eyes at the sight of a life giving gift.

“Hope. You’re giving these people hope. Thanks to your team, they now have shelters, food, clothes, clear water- everything they need to start a new life.” A soft chuckle follows. Turning back to his shorter friend, Komaeda smiles gently. “You shouldn’t doubt yourself, Naegi-kun. You’ve done more than anyone.”

Komaeda removes his mask in one slow motion, skeptically breathing deep, before the caution disperses with the air from his lungs. The purifiers were successful in ridding the toxins from the air. Naegi copies the motion.

“I’m actually pretty envious of you. How much hope you’ve given toward the world; it’s more than I ever did, more than I ever could do.” Subconsciously, Komaeda’s right hand grips at his left, tugging lightly at the black glove that covers his metal prosthetic.

Catching himself, his arms swiftly fall to his side. A familiar ache fills his gut, like poison leaking on the inside. The gnawing fears, the insecurities, the regret; the venom roars in, trying to fill him whole. Like ivy and vine, it writhes through his rib cage and strangles his heart. Pulling, tightening, consuming, if only he-

A warmth presses at his chest, startling him from sinking. Surprised, his eyes find the source before him; Naegi pressing his face into his chest, arms circling like a halo at his waist.

The tightening changes from the suffocation of his sins to the seeping calm of his friend holding him close.

Komaeda chokes on his stupor. “Naegi-kun? Wha-”

“You don’t deserve that.”

A blink. “…what?”

“You don’t deserve what you’re saying and thinking of yourself. You have so much strength in you, I just wish I could get you to see it too. And you’ve overcome so much, think of how far you’ve come.”

Slowly, paper arms close loosely around Naegi’s small frame, a familiar twitch at his mouth, urging to smile bright- to grin and bear it. Let it brush off his shoulders like chaff or sting in his skin like pins.

_It doesn’t matter if its me_ , he thinks. _It doesn’t matter._

But the habitual thoughts and emotions are stopped by months of therapy, of training, and counseling. His brain has been fed with more responses, better ways and directions; a healthier reaction.

Even more influential than pill fibers in his veins and treatments by a professional hand, was the glowing presence of the short boy before him. Throughout his days, since the very moment of his waking, Naegi had been a gentle presence at his side. The first to show him forgiveness, to ignore all his wrongs and look to his rights. The first to give soft affection, to touch him in platonic love, encourage, and show unconditional kindness.

Komaeda had even tried running, had felt as though if the boy continued to be in his presence, he would taint his purity, like a splatter of black ink on a white soul.

His resistance however, had been out done by Naegi’s persistence; and too drawn was he to such a flame and flower. The boy was a warrior and peace-keeper wrapped in a small and delicate body of flesh and bone, and his temptation of friendship had been too sweet for him to resist.

Reflecting on the dance their partnership had woven to this day, left Komaeda chuckling quietly. Finally his own arms surrounding like dead weight, returns the pressure of the embrace, tucking his friend close and tipping his head down. His forehead plants on the head of hair, and breathes; scents of cinnamon and dirt.

“Yeah. You’re right.”

The words are worth it when he feels through the fabric of his shirt a crescent moon smile, and he finds he mirrors the motion soon.

“Makoto. Komaeda.”

Without an awkward air between them, they part and turn to the chime song voice of their teammate. Her mouth is pressed in prep response, but her eyes are feather-edged at the sight of something so simply bright midst the wreckage of a diva’s despair obsession.

She hates to cut into the atmosphere, but it must be done. “Most villagers concurred a rumor of mono-bots just a couple miles up ahead. Seems they still raid the town sometimes. We’re heading out immediately to alleviate the situation.”

The boys nod in affirmation.

Despite the heavy objective, Komaeda smiles. “I’m still amazed by your professionalism, Kirigiri. You’re always so graceful about it too.”

Naegi grins in agreement. “Hah, I know! Isn’t she amazing?”

Kirigiri startles, a light pink blooming to her cheeks in her fluster. “I- I…thank you.” She clears her throat, “we should get going.”

Without further word, she hurries away, leaving behind one gaze of longing and one of knowing; both harboring amusement at her cute display of timidity.

Komaeda sneaks a wink to his pink faced friend as he passes.

In quick steps, they follow to the ramp of the aircraft.

~

_Pain. So much pain._

_He was familiar with pain, but this; this was too much._

_Absolute despair tore at his brain tissue, scratched his throat from screams alone. Every memory gone was regained, and every moment he’d ever tried to forget was mingled with the disarray of his mind and bodies displacement; like watching a mirror, seeing himself crumple under dark promises of a demented blonde. He’d only been a boy searching for something before his clock stopped and time was out._

_Before his brain gave way and he would be strapped to a bed with needles and wires for his final days- until his lungs stole his last breath._

_Instead, his ideals had been twisted by red nails and unblemished skin. An entire class fallen under the temptation of twisted words._

_He felt something warm touch his body, a body that was distant to where his mind was, where the claws of hurt and regret were shredding into his psyche and uprooting all the dark buried deep._

_Forced to relive every pain of his life in his awakening; a final farewell from Junko._

_The boy with the broken back- a sudden fall of the chandelier, a little girl crushed under a car that swerved from where he stood, a curse and a blessing in the aim of a meteor and a fall of metal wings from the sky._

_One survivor they said; the fresh corpses and charred flesh around him after the collision had told him this too._

_The feeling of being thrown away by killer hands, waking in a garbage bag because he lacked any worth. Lacked anyone to love him and grieve at his graveyard._

_The diagnosis; the blare of certain death typed in digital numbers._

_It all hurt._

_The toxic memories drenched everything._

_The sensation of flying was around him; moving like a mere wisp toward the tiny light midst the abyss of his everything. Like looking through a camera lens, it seemed to zoom in, grew ever closer._

_His lashes twitched first._

__Tears, _he realizes.._

Huh, I’m crying.

_And his spirit was sucked into paper white limbs._

_The first thing he sees is a small silhouette and kind eyes. But with no desire to waken, he slipped back into the arms of silence._


	3. your eyes stare right through me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many months after the official end to Enoshima/Monokuma’s rein, Hinata and the other survivors of despair are on a journey of recovery, set on saving their friends and slowly freeing them of despair’s influence.
> 
> Meanwhile, Naegi, Komaeda, and the rest of the Future Foundation are traveling about saving survivors, providing them with means to live, as well as killing off the remains of Monobots still about.
> 
> But when it’s time for another shipment to be sent to the Island, the two ex-Despair students who had been separated from the others for special recovery are to be reunited with their classmates.
> 
> This is a story of the student’s aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note!: This chapter starts off with the flashback, and ends at present time. There is also heavy talk about death and past suicidal thoughts. 
> 
> On a happier note, I posted a visual of all the weapons you will read about on my Tumblr account x) I wanted to diversify every weapon used for each character, but wanted you guys to have an idea of what they look like beyond just my description in words. Check it out here!: http://constellation-crisis.tumblr.com/post/127114016702/visual-reference-for-let-it-die-fic
> 
> Hope ya like the chapter. My writing is a bit rough around the edges at the moment -_-'

_The second time his eyes open is no better than the first._

_Because this time, he stays awake._

_There's white robed doctors and IV's; the stench of rubber and chemical foul in the air. He hears sounds in a muffled manner, as though he sat under seven feet of salt water. Vaguely, Komaeda realizes his back is bent and not post board straight._

_A pillow is propped at his spine; he must be sitting up._

_His eyes are wide and seeing. Seeing the blur of bodies passing and several mouths shaping words he cannot translate through his drowned ears; so they remain but silent puppets before him, like a nutcracker with the jaw snapping up and down. Up and down._

Up and down. _His mind sourly muses,_ like good luck and bad luck. Like me.

_When the waves finally rush by and his sight and hearing clear, the situation does not improve._

_The same silhouette, graced with the still concerned eyes, stood just off to the side as a warm presence; differing greatly from the aura of cold beauty and arrogant intelligence emitting from the two faces of bright violet and blue._

_He knew them; he knew the textbook basics of all three._

_Between the papers earned by a suicide-try game, he had been given easy access to the information._

_Komaeda needed no introductions; there were much heavier notions than the simple knowledge of his current company._

_He had to know. Everything. He needed to know_ everything _because at that moment, he knew_ nothing. __

_Every outcome that could have been, he had calculated the possible outcomes to every ending. Whether the Despairs lived or died, whether Junko won or lost. Whether the traitor was executed by the hand of an evil bear or set free. Whether Hinata overcame a darker more talented side of himself, or became Despair once again. Either way..._

_In all and any of his contriving, one result was to remain the same._

_He would be dead. Nagito Komaeda would finally die._

_His luck has always been predictably unpredictable. He thought's he'd won this time. Death; that was the only conclusion he'd been sure of. It was to be absolute._

_None of it made sense._

__None of it made sense.

 _Because;“...why...how am I alive?”_  
~  
**Present Time**  
~

The first one is downed by Kyouko.

It takes but the ring of her gun to set the scene in motion. The dust disturbed to swirls in the air, the crunch of rusting metal under boots, even the Monobots' creepy grin could be counted as familiar. 

This is merely routine. One of his favorites.

Komaeda felt more than saw Naegi take a ready stance, small hands ducking to the daggers at his thigh and begins to throw them with scary precision. The clunk of a knife sinks into the forehead of one of the bears; another one follows.

Feeling an adrenaline stir at the sight, the luckster bounces calm yet anticipatory on his toes. 

This is their formation. Naegi with his daggers and Kirigiri gripping a set of glocks. They'll flush them out, pick off the bears like thinning a herd. Togami and he are the dark horses of this set up.

When long range is no longer an option and the Monobots begin to swarm afoot, the bears are met with a deadly demise of blades. Two long swords extend in silver from the handsome heir, his demeanor almost straight from the page of a fairy-tale; a prince wielding his weapon against evil.

 _No need to tell him he looks like a prince though_ , Komaeda thinks. _He's arrogant enough as it is._

The second signal is the downing of three more bots when the final wave completes the team.

The singing of scissors and an echo of insanity rings somewhere behind him midst the battle; Genocider Syo ever enthusiastic to kill. This comes around the same time a flash of violet springs from his left, Mikan's whip a snake to be reckoned with.

Monobots are half way cleared. The albino grips at his weapon.

“Let's finish this, shall we?”

His hands glide across the staff, fluid in his motility as he spirals his scythe to rest at his shoulder; and in the next moment, he's moving.

A single low swing at his front dispatches of four bears, a pivot of his heel and another quick motion of his scythe and three more follow. 

Long practice has him at ease with the abnormal weapon. He remembers a time when he couldn't keep it off the ground for longer than twenty seconds. It was the only weapon he could and would wield. It was something in his control, in his hands and not as likely to stray as a bullet or dagger. No, he was commandeering these battles, not his luck.

Five bots beheaded.

The high of the conflict decreases at the pitiful numbers of Monobots still clawing and zapping, till the climax closes with a sword slice through wicked wires.

The dust settles. Komaeda takes an easy sigh before collapsing his scythe back into the short metal pipe it appears as. 

“Nagito-kun, are you hurt at all?”

Mikan approaches, her whip now powered down and without purple crackles of electricity, hugging her shoulder like an old friend. Perhaps that's just what it is.

He nods. “No, I'm injure free today. Thank you for asking though.”

The nurse smiles prettily. “I'm glad. D-do you think we're done here, or was there more scout groups to be sent out?”

“Hmm...”

Komaeda crosses his arms, his head tilts in thought, eyes up at the rust colored clouds. 

He glances momentarily to his classmate and friend. Seeing her still evokes a tingle of pride in him, how far she's come, how far _they_ have come. Her once mangled hair is now set to grow again, bangs balanced above her eyes and tresses framing her face in a darling pixie style cut to her chin. Still shy, her stutters are only so often, and slowly she's learning to love herself.

 _I'm quite the hypocrite,_ his mind supplies. _I tell her she should have more confidence, I tell Naegi he shouldn't doubt himself.._

Komaeda absently notices Mikan give a quick apology as she's called over to tend a large bruise. He remains in a day dream.

_Yet I doubt myself still. I still lose confidence._

The flare of giddiness he'd held onto during the field work fades in the weight of his own words. His body washes over in what feels like the beginning of a relapse, and the foreboding possibility shrinks his lungs to short breath. 

_I've come so far, but not far enough. Is it ever going to be enough? I'm happy with my life right now, I'm not as eager to die anymore..._

But death holds one thing that life will never give him; an existence without luck.

White giraffe lashes flutter shut, his lungs now followed by his heart still hurt. It isn't fair of him to think this way, after all those doctors have done for him. After everything the Future Foundation has helped him with, that Naegi has encouraged and Mikan has fought at his side; he can't fall back into this mind cavity. Not now.

Not when he has people still fighting for him.

“Nagitoooh-whoa!” 

Komaeda jerks his head just in time to witness a red sneaker fly in the air and bonk the owner atop his skull where Naegi now lays stomach down on the ground and a loose sock dangling from his foot in the air.

He tripped over nothing.

“Aw, man!” the shorter boy whines. “Not again!”

“Hmp...pff...pfft,” Nagito can't help it, he bursts out laughing.

It's refreshing, this feeling. An ache in his gut that isn't turmoil, but a pleasant warmth. His chuckles die off as he walks over and crouches. Like a mother, he slowly coaxes the boy to his feet and slips his shoe back in place.

“There,” Komaeda has them both on their feet again as he gently brushes dirt from his friend's hair. “You okay?”

Makoto suddenly pouts, throwing his face- embarrassed- into his hands. “I sprained my ankle...!” comes the muffled reply.

Komaeda hides his impish grin behind his sleek black-gloved hand. “Okay, okay, come on. We better get to the ship. I'm assuming that's what you were coming to get me for?”

Naegi nods. “Yeahh, but you'll have to help me hobble over there now.”

“I've got a better idea.”

He shifts to make do for his friends height, crouches as he calls over his shoulder.

“Alright, hop on.”

Two seconds hesitation before small arms and legs and comfortably positioned to carry the injured to the jet plane.

They begin the journey back.

“...stupid luck.”

_I couldn't agree more, Naegi. Couldn't agree more._


End file.
